In Pursuit of Happiness

The year 2020 has brought with itself one bad virus that has got us all down to our knees. We have ranted about it for more than three long months now, locked in, unhappy souls that we are. However we have unanimously failed to realize all the pretty little lessons that covid-19 had taught us in these few months. Every year thousands of people die due to various common reasons like road accidents, tuberculosis, liver cirrhosis etc etc, but have we spared a second thought about that? Not really, we have crossed the streets like we own them, we have smoked out billowing clouds from our nostrils, and we drank like we would drown the world in our glasses. In came covid_19, and slapped us right across the face with the realization of how short and uncertain the life is. How today we are all here, but tomorrow, this pub would be empty like a graveyard. How happening places like shopping malls would be devoid of all, except the mannequins. How in the comfort of our homes we would start feeling claustrophobic.

'Life is short' is only the tip of the ice berg, when it comes to lessons that Corona has brought in. In one swipe, it has made so many of us much more self dependent than we used to be. With a dearth of  available facilities, there are so many basic skills, that we now have at our fingertips. We started by managing, scraping through, while practice has made us a pro these days, or we are on our way, to each, their own. This self dependency has its roots deep in our lives. In every sphere, this is one medicine that can cure most of our problems. Most importantly, this, can bring us to the end of our pursuit of happiness.

Great masters have spoken the wise words, to be happy, we need to give up our expectations. Without expectations, there shall be no disappointment, no reason to be sad. Very well put, but then, the words of wise men, and the life of a common man does not have much in common. The common man has wishes, expectations, hopes, and they all need to be fulfilled for life to go on, to take shape. If things don't go according to our plans, life seems to be spiraling down an abyss, and we try nails and teeth to catch on to something, and rise up again, and thus, the journey of life continues through the ups and downs. We cannot be too wise and live our common lives, we must follow the routine track. Yet, there is a loop, which can make things better for us. We may give up our expectations from others, and keep them solely to ourselves.

In the beginning it sounds all high and lofty, but when we come to think of it, it is the easiest way we have got to find our happiness. Waiting for others to fulfill our wishes, disappointment and heart burn on being turned down, we have all been there at one point or the other. However, that feeling of having it under our own wing, being in charge, and nailing it down, that is different, exciting and absolutely satisfying in its own sweet way. If by chance, it cannot be done, well, at least we know that we had given our best, and there is nobody else to blame for it. It sounds difficult, no doubt, but in the pursuit of happiness, it surely is the easiest way out.

Our dreams make us who we are, our ambitions and our choices shape us in and out. Depending upon how much of it we can achieve, we are labelled as successful, or, in unfortunate times, as a loser.  The label is put on us by the world. The world only sees the end result, no proceedings, not how much work was put into the matter, not how much effort went into it, none of it, only the neat end result. That is how the world has been for a very long time, we cannot change that. But when things are completely our under our own fingers, somewhere deep inside, a flickering light still shines on, that reminds us, no matter what the world may be saying, we know, why and what got us to where we are. Do not let that light out.

Life is a long long journey in this pursuit. Happiness, like a bright big ball, floats out in front of us, just out of our reach, tempting us to come and get it. One ball after the other, floating just out there, waiting to be grabbed. Now it is upon us, if we will dive head first into the water ourselves and capture the balls of happiness, or wait for someone to do it for us, if at all, they feel like doing us the favor. We may or may not reach out to the balls of happiness, but even if we cannot clasp our fingers around it, rest assured, we will still have the fun of one refreshing swim in the tides of life.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

What magnet does to iron, a mirror does to us humans. If there be a mirror in the room, we are bound to catch ourselves staring at it. Sometimes we steal a glimpse, at other times, we delve deep into it. As much as it preaches us not to judge a book by its cover, the world itself, does the very same to us. We are all very aware of the fact, that the first look matters, we must be presentable, make ourselves presentable for the world, to be accepted by it. Deep down inside, that thought never really leaves us, leading to two different ways, on either of which all of us are striding off.

One path is that where we take extreme care before we face the world. There are different ranges of it, starting form the apparels, to how we carry ourselves, with optional addition of make up, which is a whole new avenue all together. On this road, we are the perfection. This lock down period has seen so many of us, who usually go down this road, facing the world through the window of Zoom, with an appearance of remarkable precision, only on the upper half. The hair is set, the face is blushed, lips glossed, trendy top, danglers dangling in their correct angles, and below the range of the camera, it is a different world. The boxers, washed or unwashed, according to personal preferences, leading out legs that can give a gorilla a run for bananas. The backdrop in the view is tip top, shiny bright, while the floor down there has empty pizza boxes, beer cans, wasted paper balls, what else and what not. For more organized people, maybe things are not that filthy, maybe things are still in place even without a camera, but the self- maintenance, no cheating there!! That has come down a few rungs from its usual height.

The other path is miles apart, where lock down or no lock down, some of us have just come to the point where the world will have to deal with us the way we are. We will not back down at the peer pressure of presenting ourselves to the world's whims, and the story simply ends there. This path seems comfortable, but is the most difficult to attain in a world that force-feeds us with every possible idea and product, that would make us more presentable.

However, is it enough to simply prepare ourselves to be presented to the world? The person we see in the mirror is more than just that and we need to be kinder to that person, both physically and mentally. In our mind, we need to accept the person in the mirror, and trust me, in today's world of filters and beauty modes, the sheer nakedness of that person can be pretty alarming at times. And physically,it is just not enough to maintain ourselves for the world, our body has its own demands, which must be fulfilled in time. Whitening the teeth for a bright smile is not enough, the gums that hold the teeth together need equal care.

Acceptance comes in and for all shapes, sizes and colors. Our tones, freckles, acne, split ends, obesity, body hair, scars, stretch marks, all of them come together to form who we are, so why deny or try to defy any of them? The glorious poster girls who set the beauty standards for us, none of them wake up in the morning the way they are photographed. Even after brushing up concealers to places that we can't imagine needs to concealed, the photographs are further brushed up using Photoshop. The men, who are the baton bearers of ultimate masculinity either trains hard enough to shed blood, tears and sweat, or are produced before us, with CGI bodies that would suit the standard. And most importantly, it is their job to present themselves like that, to earn their bread and butter, that is what they need to put up. We, doing our 9 to 5 jobs, breaking sweat on road, coming home to chores, and ultimately going to bed with tired bones, we do not have the time, or the energy to maintain ourselves like that; with a little convincing, we could also realize that we do not even have the need to present ourselves on any pedestal. So the person in the mirror before us, the main character of our stories, is just what they look like there, and they are shaping up the story pretty well that way.

The physical nurturing comes in little bits and pieces, like we feed the plants in the garden, or take out a small piece of time to water them, that is all this person needs physically. Our kitchens are the beauty mart that we over look the most. Almost every ingredient useful for our skin and hair are available there. The wonders that some onion, lemon and coconut oil can do for our hair, or how some yogurt, turmeric powder and gram flour can glow up the skin, can give many chemical cosmetic products a run for their money. These are mere examples, several such combinations are sitting right there on the kitchen racks. The oral hygiene products can be put to shame by the regular rinsing of the mouth with warm saline water.

One need not expend enormous sums of money, to make themselves acceptable to the world. One need not push themselves to the limit to attain the benchmark set by the society. We are all unique, beautiful in our own ways, so any one benchmark cannot be for all of us, our benchmarks can only be set by us ourselves. And how we wish to reach them, or raise them further, all depends upon the amount of kindness we show to the person that we see in the mirror, the one, who will always be there by us.

Let There be Light

Life has come to a standstill like never before. We hardly go out, unless it is needed. The places where we used to hang out are all shut, we cannot visit friends at their places, and cancelling long-made plans has the new name of 'being responsible'. But none of this has the power to stop us from connecting. We are in 2020, we connect at a click. Yes, a click is all that is needed, and we have our friends over video calls, beautiful pictures from all over the world, updates from everybody we know, funny videos, messages ranging from 140 characters to 1000 words essays, lessons from the classes that we cannot attend in person, everything is right there at our finger tips. The virus has kept us in, but it couldn't keep our voices down. Our words, joys, worries, fun, frolic, everything is out there for the world. Such is the boon of internet.

We wake up in the morning to pretty messages, some of us take breaks from work to delve into the virtual world, some of us do the opposite, either way, the internet has little pills of every color that can make everyone happy. While the real world is curing herself from the overuse and abuse of humans, the humans have their own little ruckus party in the virtual world. And just like the old lore where too many vessels cannot stay together without making some noise, we too, are crashing and clanging against each other here. In our quest of happiness, we at times stomp upon grounds where we should not step.

"Our feet, our wish, we will have our own stampede", these disturbing words mirror the situation in the internet today. As  much entitled we are to our opinions, we have stopped heeding to the presence of any other opinions. Our words hold true, our opinions matter, our voice must be the loudest, so what if it is making somebody else's ears bleed, so what if it is spewing venomous hatred, so what!! This nauseating idea of self importance is spreading out slowly like thick fuming tar. We, sitting behind our keyboards, clicking and typing to our hearts' content, can name and shame anybody we want to. We can put the fat people to their places, calling out on their ugliness when they think they can dance. We can establish the supremacy of our race or ethnicity, it is easy, all we need to do is belittle that of the others. We can leak out pictures that were sent to us with utmost trust, we can create news with a few forwards, we can do anything that we aim to, and we do.

Some of us are at the center of this whirlpool, some of us are nitpicking the amusement out of it, some of us are simply ignoring it all, deep breathing and believing that this does not concern them. We are all in the same line, like a line of candles, illuminating a space, keeping the darkness away. While some of these candles have put themselves out, to avoid any accidents, some others are threatening to start a raging fire, believing that it is utterly needed to heat up this cold world. We forget our basic duty, to bring in some light.

It wouldn't be too hard to let others be. It is not necessary that we must agree to everybody, but it is also not mandatory to curse people having a different opinion. The world already has enough problems, bringing out news, fighting a war against a virus threatening to wipe us away, would it be too much to ask, to not create hateful ruckus among each other in these times? I cannot answer this question. I can only act, and wait for others, one by one, to act, gradually lighting themselves up enough, to bring out the light, to bring down the rage, and slowly forming a chain of light that cuts out the darkness of negativity in this virtual world all together.

A Moment A Day

The summer is here, and in some time the monsoon too, will be here, like they have come many many times before. That is what they do, they come and go, they pass by, while we are doing what we usually do, mind our business. In all these seasons, our time, our lives pass by, trickle out, like sand does from between our fingers, and by the time we notice, so much is already gone. But not completely gone are they, they leave back their imprint, they leave back a memory. Life basically is just that, a journey full of memories, some we cherish ourselves, some we leave back for the people around us to remember, when we are not around anymore.

Summer three years back, it was sunny out there, the sunlight trickling down the shiny green leaves of the trees, the cool breeze blew out, like a short breath, giving us a moment of relief, wild flowers grew on the grass, in some parts, a mirage shone far away on the street, and vanished as it was reached. The monsoon came, one day, the sky was laden with heavy dark clouds, a sudden gust of wind blew, it felt cooler, moist. The downpour heaved in, the petrichor arose, surrounding us, enchanting us in its aroma. We know all of this happened, happens every year, but that one moment is not there in our memory. It is lost, or rather overlapped by heaps of other "important" memories. We remember that one day when the client meeting didn't go as we wanted. We remember that one time, when we fought so bad with our parents. We remember that one time, when our partner hurt us, that we remember. We go through these memories like we flip through the pages of an old photo album.

Every passing day, every passing moment, these memories are being formed. Some vivid, some obscured, but they are all there in our minds for us to flip through later. And it is us, who decide, which ones will remain in the forefront, both for us, and for the others around us. Our every move, every bit of perseverance, all our decisions are somewhere based on how we want to be remembered. We don't last forever, but our deeds may. In this greed of an everlasting name, we are striving, and while we are striving, we are forgetting to save the little moments for us to feel, to remember, to enjoy. We give up our little moments, to make them better for somebody else, in the name of love. Then we sit counting, how much have we got in return, sometimes we gain, at others, there is a heavy loss. None of which would have occurred, if in the first pace, one had saved their own moments for themselves first. Not to confuse it for selfishness, it is self-love that we need to show.

Time changes, and everything changes along with it. The moments that we have spent on a particular person, or project, should never be felt as wasted moments later on. Not all projects are successful, not all people turn out to be worth the time spent on them, but we cannot foresee that always. However once things fail, there is no refund waiting for us. So the easiest way to save the moments from being wasted, is to enjoy them, to live each and every moment, to the fullest. These moments are well-deserved, they are our rewards for making them into what they are.

But then life is not a bed of roses. Tough times come, situations arise when things just don't go well no matter how much we try. We come across people who are not easy to be with. The decision is upon us. How much of it is worth fighting for. Our ambition-driven lives mostly coax us into trying a bit-harder, going on a bit longer, adjusting a bit more, showing us the mirage of the golden moments that can be achieved. What we forget most of the time is that, we are betting the time in hand, to reach that mirage. IF we manage to reach it, the reward is grand. However, if we cannot, all of it is wasted. How much we want to waste is all in our hands now.

One of the greatest life lesson that I had learned form Master Oogway is "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery; Today is a gift." Everyday, every moment is an empty page, which we can fill with all the colors that we want. A moment a day, we can create our own beautiful artwork to be cherished in our mind forever. The greed, the ambition, the others and their stories will always be there, our moments will not. They pass away like raindrops running down a glass window, rapid, one after the other. We can't hold them up, but we can definitely look through them, see the world in a different light, and cherish that view in the times to come.