Within and Without

The world runs at its own pace.Time and tide waits for none. We run the world, yet, like the hamster on a wheel, we must keep up with the pace, if we don't want to fall flat on our faces. So what if we are tired, so what if we are grumbling, we must move on, we must keep up. If we stop to think, it all becomes a blur. So much to do, so many responsibilities, so little time, and to make things worse, all of it is not made any easy for us by the others. What are they doing? Everybody is busy minding their own business, no time for others, no compassion, no harmony. We grumble on, hardly noticing the next person who is grumbling about us, and this is how, the world moves on, day after day, everyday. Our throats are parched, our backs aching, joints stiff, mind numb, but the show must go on.

As we run our daily shows, we often think of a holiday, a dream holiday, where we can relax, breathe, calm down. For once, the world has stopped. Unexpectedly, we have been granted that one week with seven Sundays, that we have always dreamt of. We cannot go out, all the work has been brought to us in our homes, our comfort zones. We have time, we finally have the break, yet where is the happiness? People are still suffering, what is the government up to, what is the opposition saying, where is the money going, what are these people thinking, what is new in the news, is that even true, how much longer will this go on, and so on, and on  and on we go. Happiness stands by, waiting for the chance to enter our lives.

But wait, there is one question that we have conveniently forgotten to ask in all this hullabaloo, among all of these questions that need to be answered, how many of them can be answered by us? What is it that we can do to make the situation a bit better from our sides? It can't be that we have no role in all of this, we run the world after all!In our anguish for the wildfire in the forest, we simply forget to water our own houseplants.

What were all the things that we had craved to do, if only given some time! The entire list is still out there, waiting to be done. The resources are limited, but the opportunities still remain unlimited. Our three most important assets are caving for our attention, the mind, the body and the soul. All the negativity out there, belched out by the news channels, the social media, in the family group, or from that one person, this is the time to cut it out. We sitting in our homes, cannot do anything about what is going on out there. The people on the lines of duty are doing their most. We can be grateful to them. But when the news and messages come in about what is not going right, or what is going terribly wrong, it is still those front liners who has to deal with it. We can do the most by not flaring out at it from our side, a wind is the worst for a wild fire. Seeking out the good news among all of this, a bit of joy, a little piece of laughter, spreading it out, that maybe all somebody needs to see right now in these trying times. We can give them that much, we can spread some joy, we can enjoy it as much ourselves.

Our own stiff joints and sore eyes have been crying for our attention for a long time now. Every inch of our body, the tired eyes, the broken skin, the split ended hair, the cracked ankle, it is their time now. A little bit of care, something here and something there, we know it within, that our body will respond. We have all the solutions at hand, a few free hand stretches, some yoga, some home therapy, beauty tit-bits, these have all been stored in the back ground of our minds for so long now. We had promised, someday, it would all be done, and that someday is here. Someday is today. For so long now, we have presented ourselves to the world, today, we can just present ourselves to our own selves, express and judge all we want to, and find our newer versions from within.

Our soul is very different from our mind and body. It craves for easily available pleasures, yet we fail to understand. It is not hard to please at all, all we need to do is close our eyes, take a deep breath and find our mind space, where we feel free, and light, where we can spend an eternity, where we want to spend an eternity. This mind space could be generated in our own living space. All those cozy corners we have checked and saved on Pinterest and Instagram for so long, they all have their reflections in our surroundings. A change of color here, a touch of fabric there, some more greenery in the corner, or that music list from the childhood, they all have their own magic to themselves. We are creators, creation satisfies us, and this is the time, when we can create to the fill of our soul, maybe in the kitchen, maybe in the balcony, maybe on paper, or maybe on the wall. Our soul never really needs much, it is happy with the little pleasures of life, those which are never very far away.

It was time that we wanted, it is time that we have been granted. Investing it on our most favorite person, ourselves, could never be a waste. A little a day, each day, every day, could create wonders. Storms never last forever, and this too shall pass, but at the end of the storm, let us be our own rainbows, fresh, colorful, gleaming in the sunshine, up and out for the world to behold. Think of all the rainbows that we all could create, the world would definitely be a much more beautiful place, much vibrant, way more refreshing.

One Day One Life

Life is a game of chess, one move builds the next. Every step leads to a goal, and one goal is followed by another. Rather it's a race, the earlier you start running, the further you will reach, don't stop, run, breathe hard, sweat, run, your muscles will ache, you will feel the blood rush to your ears, but don't stop, because halfway down the race, you have already realized, it is just not a race, it is a relay race. You have started it, and at the end of your part, you must pass the baton to the next contestant, your progeny, and then urge them to run, to run for their life, and run hard, because while you were racing, thinking life is a race, you never realized, when and how, the meaning of the race has changed. Now life is not the race, it is the trophy that you get when you win, if you win. And thus, it goes on.

From one point to the next, life changes its color, smoothly, the transition can hardly be noticed; but ultimately, if today, right now, we want to grasp it in our hands, everything slips through the fingers, except a simple calculation. The calculation of exactly how much life we have lived till date. All we need to do is count the number of regrets that we have in our life. From the total number, subtract the number of those regrets which were in the hands of destiny. Now divide your current age by this number that you have got here. Whatever the answer is, that is the exact amount of life we have lived. This calculation though, is easier said, than done. The most difficult part is to count the number of regrets, we all have a Pandora's box there, once opened, it is hard to keep a track of what we were actually doing, the risk of losing ourselves in it is far worse.

In all this racing, and urging, and gasping for breath, we have already lost most of ourselves. Time has ceased to be a moment, or a day. It is a period now, that ends at a deadline, which we must meet, or else we will miss the train.  Yet each day, the sun rises, the birds chirp and the flowers bloom, there is dew on the grass, there are tunes in the wind, which we have missed out all this time, which we are still missing out. When we try to reach out, we can't anymore, the cages we have built around ourselves will not let us. The cage of society, the cage of opinions, the cage of self-doubt, the cage of competition and  fear that we will be left behind. Once we realize our positions inside these concentric cages, that light of one day, becomes a mere mirage.

We humans have come a long way, from the cave days to today, we have managed, we have struggled, we have won. So a few self-built cages can surely be broken out of. We still have time, we can still grasp life by its collar, and live it, one day at a time, everyday. Our idea of life is mostly generated from what we see of others. Their life is the benchmark for us, and that is the very first mistake. Your life is different from mine. Our choices are different, our dreams are different, our thoughts, our characteristics, our principles, our emotions, our desires are different, we are not the same bro! So how can your life be my benchmark, or mine be yours? How do I even know that deep down you are happy with what you have achieved? More importantly, will I really be happy to just achieve the same, may be I need more, maybe I don't need it at all. We all use our egos as our armors for the outer world, but deep within, we don't let our ego define our individuality, and life slips a bit out of our hand there.

For generations we have been made to believe that others, our parents, our teachers, our friends, our partners, know us better than we ourselves do. This belief has apparently made us dependent on them, this belief has, in reality, amputated us of our self-worth. A guide can only show us the way, we will never make it if we don't walk the path. We have let them tell us what is good, where to go, what suits us, what to achieve, and we have most conveniently forgotten to ask our own opinions. Day after day,this has continued, until one day, when we realize that we are standing somewhere far far away from where we would like to stand. The world sees us as a winner holding the trophy, when we peek inside, we know, we are standing there, holding a consolation prize, the consolation of the guide's happiness. Are we happy though, it is already too late to ask that.

How we live, how we have lived and how we will live the rest of the remaining time we have is subject to market risk, the risk of opinions. "Will the society approve?", is one question that the society has trained us to dread. From trivial things like our skin tone to important decisions like our career moves, our love life, what we wear, what we eat, how we sit, how we chew, how much we talk ,or how less, every thing is under scrutiny. The society holds us all together, with its rules, with its admonishing demeanor, with its bloodshot eyes, and we live, sorry, spend our days, going gingerly by the rules, but at what expense? In it's quest of holding us together, society has forgotten to teach us about love, about the basic needs of equality, and has sheeped us down to a point, where we are afraid of our own rightful desires.

If we look beyond all of this, we are left with a simple picture of life, a space which we can call our own, a piece of sky, where we can fly as high as  we want, for as long as we want. Little desires, our very own, little hobbies, little pieces of a discarded wish-list. A space, where we own ourselves, completely, fearlessly, where our own opinion matters, where our choices are important, where we shall not let anybody frown upon us, a space decorated and enjoyed solely by none other than us, ourselves. Where each day has its own meaning, something to enjoy in it, something to look forward to. A space where one day, is one life, and you get to live it at your own call. The calculation of life of life has already been done, you know how much you have lived, and how much you have spent or wasted in regrets. Let each of your upcoming days be your one day of life. Live, breathe, let go, the world will bloom afresh for you, the world will seem a better place.

To Be or Not To Be

In between the two of you, when things are not how it should be, when do you know, if it's time to leave?

Life is like this open space filled with little enclosures. Every enclosure is a relationship, a room, where there are two people.We each, by our own merit, own several such rooms, some big, some small, some, which we rarely visit, and some, where we love to spend most of our time. The memories form the bricks, building the walls little by little, until they grow from one little brick to a full room, in which you reside. But then there are rooms which are much like the witch's hut that we have read about in the story of Hansel and Gretel. Oh the roof is of ginger bread, and the walls are of chocolate, and the windows are candy and the carpet is candy floss. These rooms are attractive, colorful, and don't we all love to be in there! But soon enough, the realization dawns upon us, the room is devouring us more than we are devouring the parts. The cost for that little fun, that little sense of belonging, and that little mirage of love is much more than we can afford. The question is, what do we do now?

Once we have the realization of what is really happening, many options open up to us. We may brave it and win over the situation. We may sit in a corner and wait for a miracle. We may want to change it and find ourselves too weak for it. The most difficult option here is to find the door, and leave. The room in itself is not the biggest problem, the problem is the person we are with, in the room. Given a chance we would still want to leave the room and look at it from far away at times, wondering away, but it is this person, that we can't abandon. This person who has given us all the sweetness and care and love and warmth, we can't just leave them out there, that's selfish, that's wrong, that's almost evil!

These moments, when all of these emotions and thoughts rush in, and the heart is at a war with the brain, deciding to do or not to do, to be or not to be, these moments feel like ground glass under our eyelids. They must be dealt with, yet they hurt so bad. Everything comes into play, all the time, energy and emotions that have been put into building the room, how strong the walls have become, how each and every brick of a memory seems so precious, yet how each and every moment in the room seems to suffocate the life out of us, we can't breathe, our eyes water, and we feel more weak with every passing moment.

One small thing that we tend to forget is that, the doors to these room are never really shut. They are always ajar, just at the stretch of our fingertips. Whether we will reach out for it, or we will sit and wait for the never-to-happen miracle, is solely upon us. The least that we can give to ourselves is some fresh air to breathe, to get our thoughts straight. Nothing is more important to us than our lives. We are the architects of our own lives, we build our own spaces, we break and rebuild them to our convenience and comfort. Our biggest responsibility is nothing but ourselves.

As selfish as it may sound, our world actually revolves around us, cause if not for us, that world will cease to exist. So if by chance we find ourselves in one such toxic room, for the sake of everything, we must take the chance, get hold of the door and step out. Standing outside the room, breathing fresh air, or maybe visiting another room to lighten our souls is all the help that we need to find our way. Not always do we have to abandon a person, sometimes good ways come out of nowhere, sometimes, the person just follows our suit and gets some fresh air themselves. Yet, not all spaces can be saved.

If you have followed this far, and can relate to all of it, you know, sometimes, you have to let go. You have built it once, you can do it again, you have all of it in you. If you feel drained, all the emotions sucked out of you, all the energy put to waste, all the time just gone by, know it for yourself, there is time, as long as there is life. There is nothing that cannot be replaced. Give yourself time, to heal, to feel, to know what more is out there in the open. We are all weak after we recuperate from an illness, give yourself that much time and care, and with time, the weakness is bound to go away. The world is your oyster. You will find what you seek, in a new place, at a different time, better and stronger than before. It might be you get your old person back in a new and refreshed form, it might be it's a different person altogether, but there will be someone to hold you again. Just make sure, that by the time you find this person, you find yourself completely. A new room to fall back upon is always welcome, but the strength to build that new room, bigger and brighter than ever, should be in you.